Five things we’d love to see Bond advertise in Skyfall

So, Bond has ditched his Martini for a bottle of Heineken in Skyfall, which is in cinemas from next Friday.

Not that there is anything wrong with Heineken, but it does lack the sophistication of a Martini, and means the end of the famous ‘shaken not stirred’ line.

Product placement is definitely on the rise in Bond films, from drinks to cars to watches, as well as multiple other marketing links.

That was made abundantly obvious when this popped up on the market.

Yes, James Bond nail varnish. It comes in two collections: ‘dangerous’ and ‘seductive’, with the different shades named after Bond films. The only link to Bond – apart from the names – that we can see is that you shake (and don’t stir) nail polish.The next stage, we fear, is a scene where Bond has to wait a while to hear his mission because M is reading Fifty Shades of Grey.So, we’ve decided to come up with a list of the top things we’d love to see Bond advertise in the new film, mainly based on events from the past week. Feel free to add your own suggestions!

Red Bull

Well, in a film called Skyfall, surely we can expect to see James Bond do some, erm, falling from the sky. And what better brand to promote this than Red Bull?After all, a) it gives you wings (unless this is false advertising, in which case we’ll get straight on to the ASA) and b) if Felix Baumgartner’s jump broke a record on YouTube, surely it would help the film break box office records.

Foursquare

What could strike more fear in the hearts of baddies than having the message ‘James Bond has just checked into your secret lair’ pop up?Ok, his international travel will mean that he will never quite gain the status of mayor, but we’re sure he can live with that.

Bodyform

As our new best mate Richard said, according to the ads by Bodyform, using these products make you able to take part in activities such as bike riding, horse riding and parachuting (as seen in its 2007 ad), so we’re fairly sure that Bond has a stockpile. Altogether now: ‘woooah, Bodyform!’

Heinz Tomato Ketchup

Well, unless he does wear the nail varnish (he would look dashing in ‘the living daylights’ shade, we’re sure), Bond needs to be able to say ‘shaken, not stirred’. And what better product to shake?A product placement deal with this could also help save a lot of money on the cost of fake blood…and we’d love to see Bond dole out 57 varieties of ass-kicking.

Lowcostholidays

With all that travel, Bond needs to get around somehow, and the recession means that MI5 will be making a few cutbacks. Given the response from lowcostholidays to Mr Thomas Cook, we’re of the opinion this is the holiday brand for him.

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