Diary of a Cannes virgin: The highs and lows of Cannes Lions 2016

The work

As every Cannes virgin knows, pressure is a major mojo killer. And nowhere is that anxiety greater than with the work. Unsure and inexperienced, I pretty much doubted my own abilities. Would I know something good if I saw it? What if everyone gets the Grand Prix winning work but me? What if I miss that amazing idea that could’ve changed my entire career?

Turns out, a lot of it is instinct. Before I left, I estimated that I’d see work that would break my little heart and make me crumble. And I absolutely did see that – Unicef’s Unfairy Tales taught us all the power of a harrowing end line (‘some stories were never meant for children’), whilst Justino stole our hearts with a Christmas campaign that would make John Lewis jealous.

But I also saw work that made me laugh (the MACMA Manboobs campaign’s power comes as much in the humour as it does from overcoming the restrictions of its media), work that wowed me (Grand Prix-winning The Next Rembrandt gives us a new perspective on how classic creativity can marry with algorithms) and surprisingly for a virgin, I saw an awful lot that I was already pretty familiar with (McWhopper, anyone?). The Cannes portfolio is as wide-ranging as you expect, maybe even more so.

And the funniest thing of all is that the vast majority of the work you remember isn’t the Grand Prix-winning, headline-grabbing stuff. It’s the bronzes and shortlists that really capture your heart. I’m still banging on about Jeep Brazil’s ‘Vigilant Wallpaper’ campaign – an amazing idea that takes advantage of the human obsession of staring at your phone in order to police the vast areas of rainforests.

The talks

When you lose your Cannes virginity, a massive part of it is thanks to the chat. The post-match analysis, the blow-by-blow accounts. With a rammed schedule across the indoor and outdoor venues throughout the week, talking is the thing that Cannes is very, very good at.

But examine the billings more closely and you’ll find that the quality varies wildly. There are those talks that are growers, the talks that offer immediate satisfaction and those disappointing affairs that make you question why you’re even there in the first place.

Take for example Samsung’s VR Showcase, which was billed as more ‘performance than presentation’. Putting two wind sails on the side the Lumiére theatre and projecting The Dreams of Dali onto them does not a VR performance make. A good lesson for life – don’t oversell yourself. In total contrast, there were amazing panels, like ‘The power of cinema to drive cultural change’ – which saw Sir John Hegarty join forces with the UN and Hollywood producers to make a real difference on global issues.

The stand-out

The leg-shaking moment of the whole festival for me was the amazing ‘Cracking the Code of Creativity’ (which you can watch here). The talk from Razorfish and Contagious was delivered to a half-empty theatre but still blew the roof off the Palais.

By analysing 15 years of Cannes Lions-winning work, the guys tried to come up with a formula for producing truly creative campaigns. I’d recommend the talk to anyone who believes that a good idea can come from anywhere, that collaboration is king and whose name is Veronica (seriously, watch the talk). Top marks for totally changing the atmosphere of a room of hungover people and for inspiring the pants off everyone who saw and has seen it since.

The nightlife

A time full of lows and highs. For the inexperienced, this sort of feels like riding a rollercoaster – you don’t really know what’s round the corner, but your adrenaline is going mad and the potential for vomit only increases the longer you keep going.

Aside from a very unfortunate bout of food poisoning (you get to know your desk buddy really well when your apartment has one bathroom and there are two of you fighting for it), the nightlife is one of the best bits. Gutter jokes aside, the infamous bar is a must. As are the beach parties – if you’re lucky enough to be invited.

Just stay away from the officially organised stuff. And in particular, if you’re under-30, the Young Lions Party. To say it was a depressing reminder of a high school disco would be an understatement. Drink tokens and an awkwardly central dancefloor immediately take you back to being an uncomfortable 13 year old. When you’re losing your Cannes virginity, that mindset is never good.

The rosé

Without getting too visceral about it, I want to get into the colour here. With the unsophisticated and uninitiated taste of a Cannes virgin, I have to say that I was pretty surprised to find that rosé is actually a translucent peach - not lurid pink - in the South of France. Who knew?

Drinking rosé was something I was actually pretty nervous about (I’m usually more of a white wine girl), mostly because my university experiences with Blossom Hill were pretty harrowing. But rosé in the South of France is better than white wine. It’s better than beer.

Fundamentally, it’s easy-drinking, no matter how many bottles deep you are. And that’s a pretty nice feeling, in an environment where others are constantly filling your glass and someone else is picking up the bill.

The best bit

Browsing rows upon rows of shortlisted creative work in the basement of the Palais. This beats all of the demos and the talks hands down and would be my biggest tip for any Cannes virgin. Get up early and try to take a look for at least an hour a day.

The worst bit

Sexism. Not at the festival itself, but the under- and misrepresentation of women in advertising was a key theme of Cannes this year. It came through in talks dedicated to the subject (like ‘Sex, lies and advertising’ by #womennotobjects founder Madonna Badger and ‘Exploring marketing’s impact on gender bias’), but it also became apparent in talks that were not (‘Cracking the Code of Creativity’s’ revealed the shocking stat that on Lions Winning work, only 8 per cent of CCOs were women). Just the fact that that gross Aspirin ad even got the time of day at the festival shows we still have a long way to go. Boo hiss.

The bottom line

After getting down and dirty in Cannes, I think my first time was pretty similar to most. It was a bit awkward (when is networking ever not?), gut-wrenching (queue the food poisoning) and blow-my-brain exciting.

But with Cannes, it seems that one thing is for absolutely certain – virgin or veteran, you’re going to have an eye-opening, toe-curling experience every single time.

Alexa Turnpenney is content editor at Partners Andrews Aldridge