Agency Agony Uncle

Makes you wish you had a union doesn’t it brother? If it is currently only a proposal then I think they would be treading on thin ice to change your employment contracts without seeking some pretty watertight legal advice – I certainly wouldn’t have done it.

If you do stand up to it then you may need to suggest alternatives. They could reduce ‘benefits’ such as their pension contributions, bonuses, travel allowances, social events etc.

In fact there could be many other avenues to investigate before executing the one they are proposing, which I think would be a mistake. All this would do is totally demoralise the remaining staff and they would all start looking elsewhere. Also when good times return, will they make up the short fall of payments? Will they put the pay levels back at all? What guarantees are there? None. If they were to ask the staff to vote for a pay cut or a head count cut that would be interesting – what would you secretly vote for? It sounds like your agency has deep problems and cutting staff salaries is a little bit of a slippery slope to nowheresville. Perhaps though, they are being very clever and scaring a few of you to ‘run away’ which means they reduce the headcount without any redundancy payments… ever thought of that?

Dear Uncle Carl,

I’ve had what I think is a great idea for an online business. I’m very keen to develop it while I continue my job as a suit at an agency – and I doubt it will impact on my role. However, my potential business partner and I need help to develop the site. Should I approach the agency we work for to see if they would help us develop the site or should we look elsewhere? I don’t want it to become my boss’s business, after all...

Don’t be a cock. You obviously know they are not going to like you doing it. At best they will want a slice of the action or nick the idea and at worst they will push you out first chance they get. Bear in mind that agencies need their staff to be 100% committed to their agency at the moment to ensure survival. The first sign of you or anyone being a ‘passenger’ or self-serving and I suspect your name goes to the top of the “we are making efficiencies” list.

I would also add that if you are truly ‘setting up a business’ it is not something you can do in your lunch hour you know, it is easy to set it up but to make it work takes time, effort, commitment, sacrifice and dosh! Don’t mistake starting a business with starting a hobby!

Dear Uncle Carl,

I’ve been deputy MD of my ad agency for a couple of years now. I sit on the board and work as hard as I can for this company, but I can’t help but feel that I’ve gone about as far as I can in my nine years here and there doesn’t seem to be any real succession plan being developed. Any suggestions?

I would give your bosses the benefit of the doubt and say that since 2007 things have been a little ‘sticky’, and any plans they may have had to exit have now been either pushed back by three years, or totally bollixed.

And, by the way, congratulations on your promotion to deputy MD just as the sector went into freefall! You need to ask your agency owners what their plans are if any. If you have shares in your current agency then you are part of the team and you should feel comfortable talking to them and expressing your opinions. If you have no shares then watch you don’t shoot your mouth off – listen to what they have to say and if you don’t like their plans, or lack of them, then you can ‘strike out’. But you will be an expensive acquisition so you had better have your pockets full of potential – or real client projects. Word of warning, Deputy Dog: the grass isn’t always greener…

Dear Uncle Carl,

I’ve recently put a payment down on a new sports car, but the agency where I’m a director has been forced to make a number of redundancies. I’ve worked hard for my motor and I’m aware that going ahead with my purchase might seem a bit tasteless with people leaving. Should I put my dream on hold?

No. It’s your money not the businesses so therefore your ‘conscience’ is clear. Relax and enjoy your mid-life crisis – you can drive past them with the roof down as they queue for the bus to take them to the Job Centre. Not your problem is it?

Dear Uncle Carl,

For a while now, I’ve wanted to go freelance to level up my work/life balance. I’ve got a young family and I don’t want to miss out on them growing up. The only trouble is, if I go freelance, it seems like a gamble. Will my quality of life with my family improve by being freelance? Or will they just get sick of Dad being at home being a miserable sod as he scrabbles desperately for scraps of work?

Everyone would like to spend more time at home than ‘cooped up in an office’ but people have to work. It sounds more like you might need to change your career and not just your hours.

You ain’t going to earn money watching CBeebies or sauntering off to the park for some ’quality time’. All that will happen is that you work late into the night when the rugrats are asleep, thereby ruining your grown-up relationship, living in a world of tiredness, making mistakes and then losing clients.

Also you have to chase the new work – when? You have to administer the work – when? And you will possibly be shafted on bad debt and no bank will ever lend you money as you have no steady income and when you go on holiday for more ‘quality time’ you will find your client base has fucked off. Yes, go freelance – the perfect work life balance! Freelancing is hard and brings with it a different set of pressures. Perhaps the ‘security’ should be at the forefront of your mind.

Alternatively, numb nuts, you could just be a little more disciplined within your current career. Do not spend all hours at work when you don’t need to – just go home. Do not just socialise with your work buddies – take ‘er indoors’ out now and then instead. Do your best to be the one who baths the kids or puts them to bed. Make time for the family on a weekend and not just for yourself. Sort yourself out… I’m not your marriage counsellor.

Are you troubled? Don’t be. send all your questions for uncle Carl to dear.carl@carnyx.com Or, If you wish to meet with carl to talk about your business, email him on ch@kloog.ch