I shouldn’t need a nanny just to work in an ad agency

*nothing*

*is*

*changing*

I lie; something did actually change. And then it changed back. It was 2022, and we were all acquainted with ‘working from home’ (WFH). Mothers could do the unthinkable: the school run and still make it to work on time.

It wasn’t perfect, but for the first time, I had been at the school gates at 8.45am and sat at my computer for 9.00am. And not a single minute of my morning was spent waiting for the Circle Line.

At the end of 2022, I went on maternity leave. I was a creative director. It was a job I enjoyed, and I was looking forward to returning to the flexible way of working that let me “have it all” (if “have it all” means simply having children and a job).

365 days and zero sleeps later; I was told that the new rules were three days minimum in the office. This news shook me. My office commute was 90 minutes each way, I have a school-aged son, and I was still breastfeeding my one-year-old.

How the hell was I meant to be sat at a desk in London 9-6 three days a week and be at the school gates at 9am and 3pm when the two are 90 minutes away? I asked HR what I should do. The response was: “Have you considered a nanny?”

So I quit.

I interviewed at loads of amazing places, but it got to the point where I was barely introducing myself before asking: “How many days are you making people be in the office?” Every single response was: “at least three.”

I then rage posted on LinkedIn about the industry going backward and how it’s forcing women like me to quit as soon as we pop out kids. My comments and DMs were flooded with desperate women who have sadly quit over the years or are in the process of having every door shut in their face as they try to do the mum-math on pick-ups, breakfast clubs, after-school clubs and commuting.

If your agency’s internal IWD posts have fooled you into thinking that the industry is changing as they take ‘empowering’ photos of their female leaders and share them for all to see, then dig a little deeper.

Ask mums how they’re doing, really.

I have six hugely talented female friends, all at director level, who are trying to return to work as a mother. All six are in turmoil. ALL SIX.

A depressing 30% of leadership roles are held by women, but in advertising, those figures are even less – 12% of creative directors are female (I would argue it’s less as I can count on one finger the number of female CDs I have met in the last five years). The hypocrisy of that stat really gets to me for many reasons.

Firstly, how often have you seen ‘Inclusive’ in the brand strategy decks we present to clients? We present the quote: ‘You can’t be what you can’t see,' to persuade them to be more diverse.

If we believe in the power of inclusivity for our clients, why don’t we believe in it for our success? I know how exhausting it is to not see yourself in the leaders you work with.

Secondly, ‘authentic storytelling’ is another phrase we like to use a lot as we guide brands on connecting with their audiences in the most impactful ways.

Did you know that women make upwards of 80% of all purchasing decisions? They are our consumer. Yet, we continue to sell to them through the insights and creative ideas of the opposite sex. Weird.

Thirdly, agencies are hyper-aware of the optics around an all-male leadership team. It doesn’t look progressive, and in advertising, ‘progressive’ is our currency.

We are meant to be the pinnacle of cool, current, pioneering. Yet we’re an industry run primarily by men continuing to craft a system that does not serve 50% of its workforce once they reach 35+.

But it goes beyond optics. It’s good for business for women to be a part of your senior staff. According to McKinsey research, companies in the top 25% for gender diversity were 25% more likely to have above-average profitability.

I’ve spent the first few months of the year navigating my way back into an industry that felt determined to drive me out. My approach was to stand firm.

I refuse to spend four hours a day on a train, force my children into every school club going, and risk burnout for the sake of employers who are making stupid decisions based on ‘office buzz.’

I’m happy to report that the right companies are out there. I’ve been working as creative director for Sid Lee London for two months now on a super flexible permalance basis. The team has been brilliant at making my return to work, work around my family, and they treat me like an adult who can manage my own time and get the job done.

These agencies will create the most committed and diverse workforce and the strongest, most insightful work. I really believe that if ’having it all’ means simply having a child and a job, then it’s up to companies to offer gender-equitable policies.

Policies that recognize the fact that this lack of equality is due to societal issues that go beyond any of our control (school hours, lack of childcare, lack of affordable childcare), so it’s up to us to make allowances.

By enforcing one-size-fits-all policies that are created by powerful men with big paychecks and no young children, companies will continue to have a male-only leadership team.

So, if I can leave you with one piece of ‘female empowerment’ for IWD, stick to your boundaries and be vocal about them. The more women speak up and say, “This will not work for me,” the more likely we are to stop the cycle of female eviction from the workforce.

Check out The Drum’s International Women’s Day coverage here.

• 4 immediate steps marketing leaders can take to ensure workplace gender equity

• We need a better word for freelancing, it’s selling women short

• Take the cringe out of International Women’s Day... equal pay. Now!