As a motherless marketer, I say the industry needs to do better on Mother’s Day

I lost my mother to cancer on January 25, while I was seven months pregnant. I would give anything to shower her with flowers, buy a cozy sweater to wrap her up in on chilly California evenings, and treat her to a delicious feast that feeds the soul. I am heartbroken that cancer killed my mother at 63-years-young and robbed me of the opportunity to celebrate her as the mother of all mothers.

On my inaugural motherless Mother’s Day, I see how the marketing industry takes a one-size-fits-all approach to the holiday. Ad after ad seems to have made the following assumptions: a) your mother is alive, and b) you have a loving relationship with them.

These assumptions risk alienating so many beyond the motherless, including people who have a complicated relationship with their mothers and women who struggle with infertility. The barrage of cringe-worthy Mother’s Day messages creates the perfect storm for a negative brand experience that rubs salt into the wound of a broken heart that is unlikely to easily forgive.

To make matters worse, it seems as though the marketing industry recycles the same approach year after year. The banality of it all is underscored when one scrolls through their social media feeds or checks their emails in the weeks leading up to Mother’s Day. Happy, sappy, and idealized messages of motherhood are in full bloom. While the universal messages are intended to be inspirational and tug at your heartstrings, marketers fail to differentiate and capture the attention of consumers.

And yet too much is at stake financially for brands to keep operating under these assumptions. According to the National Retail Federation, Mother’s Day spending will hit a record $35.7 billion in 2023, which amounts to consumers spending an average of $274 each partaking in the second most popular gift-giving holiday in America.

A guide to sensitive Mother's Day messaging for brands

As a motherless marketer, I call upon the marketing industry to do better. Let’s seize the opportunity to talk about the bitter-sweetness of the holiday. Here are three ways marketers can shift beyond the celebratory platitudes to maximize relevancy and meaningfully connect with consumers.

Be empathetic: Recognize Mother’s Day can be both a joyful and painful time for those who have experienced loss. An easy way to do this is by giving customers a choice. Provide the option to opt out of Mother’s Day communications altogether. In a data-driven world, there is no reason why someone should receive communications they do not wish to receive. Shoutout to DoorDash, Etsy, Levi’s, and clothing company Vince for sending notices to unsubscribe from Mother’s Day emails during this difficult time. It may sound corny, but I’ve never felt more seen and heard.

Be impactful: Establish a clear point of view. This starts with getting comfortable with the uncomfortable topic of grief that makes Mother’s Day hard for so many reasons. Acknowledging loss head-on will no doubt resonate with the motherless and be memorable in a sea of messaging-sameness.

Be inclusive: Honor mothers who have passed away, but who we always carry in our hearts. We may not be able to physically shower them with gifts and experiences, but we can certainly act on their behalf. Even though my mother isn’t physically here, I plan to honor her on Mother’s Day by experiencing all the food, things, and places she loved, like buying her favorite flowers and dining at her favorite Chicago restaurant by the water. Shifting your messaging language from “celebrate Mom” or “buy Mom” to “honor Mom” is a simple, yet profound act for the motherless. After all, honoring loved ones is all we have.

It’s my sincere hope that future Mother’s Days will look very different than where we are today. Shifting the conversation isn’t easy, but as marketers, we have an obligation to shape the cultural conversation to be more empathetic, inclusive, and impactful. I look forward to seeing which brands act meaningfully on behalf of the motherless in 2025.