How US tabloids coped with (the lack of) the Kate topless photos

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By Noel Young, Correspondent

September 18, 2012 | 3 min read

Faced with a complete photo ban on the Kate topless pictures (not that they would have gone for them anyway) American tabloid newspapers tried valiantly to give the story the sort of exposure it deserved.

Page One: The New York Post

Top marks, then to the New York Post for this Page One yesterday of Kate suppressing a giggle when she is greeted by a topless dancer in the Solomon Islands .

Less impressive, the Boston Herald's Page 3 story headlined, "Keeping abreast of Kate."

Says the writer, of The Kate Middleton topless photos: "One small step for paparazzi, one giant leap for small breasts.

"In fact, the future queen looks so sexy and firm in her much viewed and reviewed semi-nakedness, she may reverse the trend of 100-pound women with fake breasts bigger than their heads.

"And the royal derriere looks as luscious as the legendary backside of Kate’s little sister, Pippa, whom we all recall in that show-stopping satiny dress at Kate and Prince William’s royal wedding."

Now if a man had made these comments, there would be hell to pay. However, they came from the Herald's distinguished woman columnist , Margery Eagan. So that's OK then.

Margery adds, "Where’s the scandal? Kate did nothing wrong. In France, female sunbathers routinely go topless. For a wholesome change, Kate and Will are married.

"To each other."

"He is not Prince Charles, once caught on a cellphone telling his then mistress he yearned to be her Tampax. This is not Prince Harry, just caught naked in a Vegas group romp. How about Princess Fergie, pictured topless while an American businessman sucked her toes? At the time Fergie was a married mother of two.

"My prediction: This little tempest will only make Kate and Will more beloved and the paparazzi — with massive lenses zooming in from a mile away — more reviled."

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