5 Reasons You Feel Lonely In Your Relationship

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Relationships can be exciting, challenging, and rewarding all at once

A new relationship with all the glitz and glamor of fresh connections can seem like the best thing to ever happen to you; until the “new car smell” wears off. There are many reasons why your relationship may leave you feeling lonely, from having your needs ignored to not communicating those needs well to your partner. Here are five reasons you may be feeling lonely in a relationship.

1. Your Needs are Constantly Ignored

Sometimes, a relationship becomes very one-sided. You may begin to feel lonely if your needs aren’t being met or even considered important by your partner, and this is perfectly normal. Your needs are important, regardless of how your partner may seem to think about them. You are your own person and have your own aspirations, needs, and wants. When a person who is supposed to love you doesn’t care about what you need or want, you can start to feel pretty lonely.

Having your needs met is actually an important component of a healthy relationship. When both parties’ needs are met, it’s considered a mutual exchange and is healthy. If only one partner’s needs are being met, you can’t exactly expect the other person to be happy.

2. You and Your Partner Don’t Spend Quality Time Together

Quality time can be difficult to come by when life gets in the way. If you have kids together with your partner, it can be nearly impossible to find free time to spend together with just the two of you. Make no mistake, quality time is essential to a happy relationship and to keeping those feelings of loneliness at bay.

“Quality time” doesn’t mean the daily routine of seeing each other in the morning, kissing goodbye, and passing each other on the way to bed. A mutual massage, a night out, movies at home, or some other fun activity for just the two of you is what we mean when we say “quality time”. Quality time helps you both connect as individuals, reinforcing those reasons you got together to begin with. It provides a chance for you to explore each other and get to know one another better, which is crucial to keeping the relationship strong.

3. You Expect Your Partner to Meet All of Your Needs

While you should certainly voice your needs to your partner, many people make the mistake of getting into a relationship and expecting their new partner to meet all of their needs. This is simply unrealistic, as an individual’s needs are multi-dimensional. Your partner can be many things for you, but they can’t be everything. You’ll need to find satisfaction in other areas of life, such as other relationships with friends and family, your own hobbies and interests, and more.

When you start thinking “I’m so lonely” because your partner isn’t meeting 100% of your needs, take a step back and consider what those needs are. Is it realistic to expect your partner to meet certain needs? Perhaps a reevaluation of what your needs are will provide clarity.

4. The “Honeymoon Period” is Over

The “Honeymoon Period”, as it’s called, can last anywhere from a few weeks to a few years, but once it’s over, you can start feeling like your relationship isn’t as strong or you’re not as close with your partner. The excitement and infatuation of a new relationship can wear off with the slow passing of time, but it’s important to take a closer look at how you’re feeling before you jump to conclusions.

Are you feeling “lonely” because things aren’t like they used to be? What would you like to see changed in order to not feel lonely anymore? Sometimes, you’ll find that the feelings you thought were plaguing your mind were only there because of a false assumption or lack of communication.

5. Lack of Communication

Speaking of communication, let’s discuss perhaps one of the most important components of a healthy relationship. Communicating well with your partner is absolutely crucial to providing them with a better understanding of how you’re feeling. If you don’t let them know you’re feeling a certain way, how can they possibly know? I have yet to meet a mind-reader!

The better communication you have at the beginning of your relationship, the better off you’ll be down the road. Keep things open and honest from the beginning to set a good foundation for the coming years. Without communication, trust will suffer, and thus, the relationship suffers. Always be open and honest with your partner, especially if you’re feeling lonely, sad, or ignored. You may find that your partner wasn’t even aware of how their actions affected you and will be ready to address the behavior at once.