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England team to compensate travelling fans

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In a shocking, yet admiral gesture, the entire England Football Squad have agreed to donate their first months salary of the new season into a fund to compensate England fans who travelled to South Africa.

Desperate to apologise for their humiliating performances, the fund will go some way toward making it up to thousands of loyal English football fans who spent thousands of pounds of their hard earned money watching a lackluster and apathetic group of over paid, mediocre egotists.

Could this sensational news actually be true?

No, I made it up. But it should be.

I think all the players, (and the manager), should donate a minimum of one months Premiership salary into a kitty to reimburse England fans who travelled to South Africa. It’s the least they could do. And it’s not as though a months spondoolix would be much of a loss to these footballing sloths.

They humiliated themselves, they humiliated the fans and they humiliated their country.

I hope they aren’t under the illusion that just because a couple of weeks have passed since their annihilation at the hands of Germany that we will let things get back to normal.

Oh no. There has to be payback. They have to compensate us for being so piss-poor. People say that if we had beaten Algeria or the USA we would have topped the group and had an easier run-in. But I say to you, good people, that England would not have beaten ANY of the other 15 teams in the knockout stages.

So, if you think the England team should cough up some cash for the hard working men and women of Blighty who lost theirs in a once-in-a-lifetime trip, please vote now.

Plus, the FA should give every fan that travelled to SA free tickets to the first four England matches at Wembley.

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