Creative Water Cooler Creative

Habito hopes to spice up the mortgage process with illustrated erotic novel


By Imogen Watson, Senior reporter

February 11, 2021 | 4 min read

You may not be anywhere near the office water cooler right now, but we still want to spotlight the most talked about creative from the brands that should be on your radar. Today, we’re looking at Habito’s erotic novel, written by the dad ’who wrote a porno’.

Habito and Uncommon release an erotic novel - 'The Road to Completion' a raunchy tale of first time buyers

Habito and Uncommon release an erotic novel - 'The Road to Completion' a raunchy tale of first time buyers

In 2015, Jamie Morton introduced the world to ’My Dad Wrote a Porno’, a podcast that poked fun at ’Belinda Blinks’ – an erotic novel written by his old man under the pen name Rocky Flintstone. The motifying tale was a surprising hit.

It turns out his dad is still writing smut, now in aid of the latest campaign from Uncommon and mortgage provider Habito.

While this might be a surprising ménage à trois, let’s look at the facts. Research conducted by Habito recognised a sex drought among homebuyers, who find the stress of mortgages blocking their sex life. Spoiling the mood, it found one in 10 couples weren’t intimate with their other half throughout the mortgage application process, while 51% felt their relationships were negatively impacted by getting a mortgage.

Alarmed by the severity of these findings, Habito, Uncommon and Flintstone came up with ’The Road to Completion’, an erotic novel that aims to reignite the love lives of those trying to settle down.

The novel follows the story of first-time buyers Sylvia and Tom, who embark on... the ’girthiest project of their lives’ (buying a house.) In the steamy romp, the ’throbbing young lovers’ explore the property market as they explore each other’s bodies. Its pages are filled with lurid illustrations and lines such as: “Shut up and ruin my structural integrity you naughty cowboy builder!”

The Road to Completion

From ’Brokerback Mountain’ to ’Property Porn’, ’Agents Provocateurs’ to ’An Intimate Inspection’ each chapter in the search for a new home heats up as the couple finally reach ’Completion’.

The provocative tale is brought to life with help from German-based illustrator Sebastian Schwamm, who applied an abstract approach to capture the protagonists’ naughty nature,. To promote the book launch, Uncommon also created a suite of print ads.

The Road to Completion 2

“We know that the process of finding a dream home can cause sleepless nights and increased stress, all of which puts a big strain on relationships. Habito exists to set homebuyers free from the hell of mortgages; we help our customers avoid any potential disappointment around their mortgage application,“ Daniel Hegarty, chief exec and founder of Habito explains.

“Having satisfied the mortgage advice needs of over 500,000 people in the UK, we hope our ‘Road to Completion’ brings some light-hearted reading to any prospective homebuyer’s ebookshelf this Valentine’s Day.”

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