Agency Agony Uncle
The truth will out
Dear Uncle Carl,
I haven’t had a wage rise for well over a year. But now, especially, I am not sure if it is even appropriate to ask, with staff being made redundant and leavers not being replaced. With the cost of living increasing so much, every penny counts. Should wages even just go up with inflation?
Thought this was a begging letter to start with then, I nearly had a coronary! ‘Leavers not being replaced’ can be a very sensible way of re-evaluating your business and taking the opportunity to ‘right size’ your agency. Redundancies demonstrate that your clients needs have changed or the ‘market’ has changed and as a result, your agency needs to change accordingly. But your agency hasn’t shut up shop, so there must be fortunate, but valued, people like yourself there contributing – and that contribution deserves rewarding.
I appreciate your concern over the fortunes of your less fortunate colleagues and the state of the business but you should still feel you can at least have the conversation with your employer over future opportunities to raise your earnings. As you say, at least an acknowledgement of a cost of living rise, whatever that is now?
In my past life I had three levels of rises which were discussed with managers; cost of living, for people who came in and did the job they were paid to do, but added little value beyond their job description or had taken no steps to try and improve themselves over the year. Then, ‘discretionary’ which was anything as recommended by line managers for salaries that needed to ‘catch-up’, or for individuals who had performed above and beyond the call of duty – and not just for the month before the pay reviews; we were not stupid. Finally, there was the ‘sod all’ pay reviews for anyone on disciplinary or who had failed to deliver what was expected of them.
These are indeed tough times but employers have to realise that once they have ‘right-sized’, they have to retain the talent they have for when times get better. Otherwise, all that will happen is that people like you will hold onto their jobs and, as soon as there is an alternative, jump ship. And who could blame you?
Dear Uncle Carl,
This might not sound like a problem, but as a relatively small and relatively new design agency we have been hugely busy. So far, this doesn’t sound like a problem, does it? Well, my problem lies in that fact that being small and new – and not launching as a break away from another local agency (but straight from college) – I am finding it hard to attract top staff from the area. How could I go about doing this?
So Joe-College ‘you just can’t get the staff’, age old problem I’m afraid. Could be a few things; one, you may be busy – but busy doing what? Creating ‘brands’ for the local tanning salon, doing POS for the off-licence on the high street, the latest brochure for a firm of solicitors? What I’m saying is, are you busy on real, quality, ongoing, and growing accounts where you do ‘real’ work and not quick-print type production?
Secondly, busy does not equal profitable, as many agencies are finding out. So, are you offering the right kind of money to draw the attention of the great swathes of unemployed talent available at the moment?
Thirdly, why would someone who is ‘top staff’ come to a two-minute wonder, no name, no history, no trading, no brand agency run by someone fresh into the industry who they are old enough to be the father of – I say that with respect of course. Problem is, you literally are the new kid on the block and why would people risk working for a ‘new kid’ when at the moment the ‘old boys’ are struggling? My advice is don’t recruit but get freelancers in (there are lots around oddly enough), deliver good work, pay your freelancers early, learn about your business and yourself and find out if indeed you do have a business. This will also help you understand what type of people you may need in the future.
Dear Uncle Carl,
Our agency is developing what we think is a unique tool for the creative industries. We are looking to try and attract VC funding, what is the best way to do this? And in the current climate, can creatively-led business expect to attract funding at all?
There are many ways to find Vulture Capitalists – sorry, Venture Capitalists. You can be as basic as Googling them – simply type in “percentage-hogging, paperwork-creating, exit-focused, risk-averse freeloaders”, or some similar phrase and up they will pop!
Alternatively, accountancy firms can be another good source of contacts but there are lots of types of would-be investors who prefer and feel more comfortable in different sectors. You could talk to other people who have done deals in your sector to find a corporate VC or perhaps an individual ‘angel’ who has some understanding of your ‘creative’ sector which may prove more fruitful and provide a quicker process.
Do I think there will be funding out there? Of course I do, there is always a deal to be done if you have the right plans, profits and track record. Be aware my little entrepreneur that what you should be looking for from any potential VC is not simply a wedge of cash but contacts, influence and imagination. Your Uncle Carl had a VC once who only, reluctantly, brought money to the table… and it wasn’t a lot… and it was very expensive. What looks a good deal now might be a crushing weight in better times – and those times will return… one day… eventually.
Dear Uncle Carl,
To save money, I’ve started bringing in a packed lunch. I leave it in the fridge, as the smell of my eggy sandwiches would make me rather unpopular in the office. But recently, my sandwiches have started moving. Not by themselves. But I think one of my colleagues is stealing them. I’ve tried labelling them. And have even tried to set a trap, balancing a semi-opened bottle of milk on top of them to try and catch the culprit out. Any advice?
Now I’m no Jamie Oliver but here we go. First thing is stop eating ‘eggy sandwiches’. To find the culprit, find the person who has no sense of taste or smell and sits at their desk under a Viz-like cloud of eggy-guff aroma.
Second, stop the balancing-milk-on-your-sandwich exercise; sounds like a Tracey Eminn exhibit, as it obviously doesn’t work, and be more drastic. I once saw James Bond leave a hair across a door frame to see if anyone entered his room while he was off devouring as many women as he possibly could; So why don’t you pluck a hair of the short and curly variety, and leave that atop said sarnie? That should put them off.
Are you troubled? Don’t be. send all your questions for the drum’s agony uncle to dear.carl@carnyx.com. Or, If you wish to meet with carl to talk about your business, then simply email him on ch@kloog.ch.