Onnit: advert-body-3

It’s been a while since the world has heard from cyclist Lance Armstrong, after he was stripped of his Tour de France wins following a doping scandal. Now, Armstrong is riding back into a promotional role, playing himself in a fundraising campaign for Austin-based holistic health and wellness brand, Onnit.

In the Black Friday spot, we see a cyclist ride on to empty carnival grounds. He walks up to a Zoltar automated fortune telling machine and we see that it is a now gray-templed Armstrong, still looking fit. The Zoltar machine says it will grant him a wish, and Armstrong says, “ah screw it, what more could I lose?” Armstrong puts in a few coins and asks Zoltar to “make me complete.” While we don’t know if he’s asking that because of his lost titles or perhaps his loss during his testicular cancer treatment, it becomes more clear as the spot progresses. The machine spits out a card offering 25% off all supplements on Black Friday but that wasn’t what Armstrong was looking for. Another try and Armstrong commanding “gimme back what I’m missing” warrants another coupon, this for 18% off fitness equipment. A third frustrated time, Armstrong gets to the point – “Give me my ball, Zoltar!” The machine shakes and Armstrong is delivered a large medicine ball. He rides away with the ball, and a pair of fake testicles swings from his bicycle seat.

The tag says: “This Black Friday, get some good karma back. Onnit will match every dollar donated with purchase to fight testicular cancer.”