The Drum Awards for Marketing - Extended Deadline

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By Andrew Boulton

June 9, 2014 | 4 min read

It’s hard to dislike something that everyone else thinks is brilliant. As a boy I made the foolish mistake of mentioning that I didn’t really like Robocop. A week of hourly Robo-themed poundings later and I was resolved never again to express an opinion that went against the norm. The school system works after all.

But now I find myself forced to go against the conformity that has saved me from a thumping for the past 22 years. I don’t like the Nike ‘Winner Stays’ World Cup advert. I find it showy, clunky and pretty much just one big excuse for Cristiano Ronaldo to indulge in his favourite pastime of screaming ‘Meeeeeeeeeeee!’ into the collective face of a football world that wants to like him, but struggles to see beyond the twat to the talent.

Initial murmurings around the Nike ad when it arrived were that it was a triumph, even heralded in some quarters as the greatest ever football advert. Admittedly that accolade is a lot like being the handsomest zombie, but there have actually been several exceptions to a genre that is mostly, and actively, poo.

Nike’s own offering from 1998 of the Brazilian team showing off their big bag of tricks in an airport was beautifully choreographed to the point of being almost balletic. Carlsberg’s ‘Team Talk’ advert from the last World Cup actually made me sob as if I‘d just heard all the world’s cheese had been put on to a rocket and fired into the sun. That particular advert is the male equivalent of ‘The Notebook’ – watch the bit where it says ‘Do it for Bobby’ and I dare you not to dissolve like a Berocca.

But this latest spot from Nike is soulless in comparison. The better World Cup adverts are the ones that reflect the mood surrounding the tournament – anticipation of brilliance and excitement, yes, but not without a good helping of wry humour.

There’s a glimpse of personality from the Nike effort when the small boy in goal transforms himself into the Hulk to defend a cross. Andrea Pirlo taking a free kick full in the face also raises a chuckle, with the Italian wizard nailing his lines as perfectly as he nails a 70-yard pass.

But these are fleeting bright moments of personality in a four-minute exercise of stodgy, brash, brand noise. The premise of the ad is literally to put real youngster into the garishly colourful boots of their heroes. In reality it keeps them at just as much arm’s length as the £100 boots that are being dangled in front of them and, by proxy, their parents. Not to mention the fact that if anyone as self-satisfied as Ronaldo played down at the park he’d find himself walking home with no shoes and throbbing testicles.

If we break it down to Adrian Chiles levels of simplicity, I suppose what we must ask from a World Cup advert is that it either makes us believe or makes us smile. This does none of the first, a tiny bit of the second and ultimately leaves you feeling like Nike is playing with its own ball and you’re not allowed a kick.

You can follow Andrew on Twitter @boultini and if you missed part one of his World Cup ad reviews you can catch up here: Mars makes a meal of it with England's Steven Gerrard