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Our bald bloke on a bike Andy Oakes defies injury to cycle from London to Paris

By Andy Oakes, Head of Content

July 11, 2013 | 5 min read

Andy Oakes, head of media solutions at The Drum, is gearing up to attempt the London to Paris bike ride on behalf of Action Medical Research. With the start line fast approaching, our very own bald bloke on a bike tells us what it feels like to be savaged by an angry badger...

The dashing bald bloke on a bike

It’s a week until the start of my London to Paris ride. The training has hit a peak, I’m fitter than I’ve ever been, the weather forecast is good and I’ve achieved my sponsorship target. So nothing could go wrong.

Except it has.

Two weeks ago, out for a 60 mile spin (well, riding with my son up to school) something got caught in the chain. The bike stopped suddenly and I got thrown over the bars and landed right on the point of my shoulder. After moving myself and bike out of the road, I realised that my shoulder was not right. I could hardly grip the bars and it would it be impossible to signal a left turn - not that I’d be riding anywhere as the rear derailleur (the bit on the back with the gears on) was hanging off in a ‘this will mean a very expensive repair bill’ kind of way.

Luckily, I have a fantastic wife who is quite used to Andy-based disasters (she’s in PR and has that calm cool PR style that terrifies us in the media world). Within an hour the bike had been booked in with the only shop that could guarantee it could source the necessary parts and fix the bike. Within two hours it was in bike intensive care.

It turns out that sleek Italian road bikes are easier to sort out than not so sleek English cyclists. The shoulder had dislocated (and then located itself again, it’s the homing pigeon of shoulders), my left foot was badly bruised and my backside looked like it had been savaged by angry badger. This, in case you are wondering, is not a good look.

I gave myself the next day off, then took my old bike out for a spin. Having watched Geraint Thomas of Team Sky crash in the Tour De France, fracturing his pelvis in the process and still riding, I reckoned I should give it a go. Fifty miles later and with only minor crying fits and squealing, I pronounced myself fit to ride to Paris. Whether somebody with slightly more medical training would think that’s a good idea is open to debate. My doctor looked at me in that brilliantly sceptical way that doctors have (we’ve all seen it, normally after you’ve said how many units of alcohol a week you drink) and said that it was my choice.

The thing is, I don’t really have a choice now. So many people have been brilliant and helped out with time, advice and sponsorship. I have bought way too much kit (way too much..) and too many people have been inflicted with pictures of me in Lycra for it not to mean anything. So sod it, I’m riding.

And anyway, it seems such a shame to waste all this training. In my new gleaming kit, with a hilarious sun tan (with my shirt off I look like I’m wearing a brilliant white tee-shirt) and with tummy tucked in, I’m beginning to look like a real cyclist. Hills no longer are seen as geographical manifestations of terror, I know what a rear derailleur is and even what it does. And how eye-wateringly expensive it is to fix..

My pals at The Drum have been fantastic in their encouragement. They no longer think of the trip as one way and now openly discuss the possibility I’m going to need my desk back. They have openly embraced my theory that Rose is a sports drink and that using Boris Bikes as part of my training is a wise idea.

And the sponsors keep coming in. It would be very remiss of me not to give thanks to The Drum, iProspect, Propel, Red Gecko, Aditus and many more friends and family who have put their hands in their pockets.

And lastly, yes, my legs are shaved..

You can sponsor Andy here and follow his tweets about crashing and badgers @andyoakes. The hashtag for the trip is #BaldblokeOnABike

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