Is God a better copywriter than the Government? Line suggests so in 10 Commandments staff manual

Frustrated that its staff handbook was over 50 pages long, while there are only 10 rules to get into heaven, digital agency Line has decided to make a change to its staff handbook.

Ross Laurie, MD of the agency, came up with the 10 Commandments of Line, transforming the 56 page manual into something easier to digest.

If anyone else has a staff manual in a similarly unusual style, let us know!

And Line spake all these words, saying,

I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

We are Line, we have liberated you from a previous employer with whom you felt the need to move on from, you came here looking for a better land in which to grow and by following our simple laws we will all prosper and succeed and, perhaps most importantly, have a good time doing so.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

As outlined in your contract, Line is your employer and all IP rights arising whilst under contract of Line will remain the property of Line.

2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

Do not do any work that is not to the knowledge of the company either with a client or as a “homer”.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

In these modern days of communication it is very easy for us to forget that we represent ourselves, our families and our work colleagues in everything we do. Misuse of Social Media has shown on many occasions to be the downfall of many a public figure and it is the exact same for us at work. Use common sense when engaging in all communications (internally and externally) and always ensure that you represent Line in the best possible light.

4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.

Record all your time accurately on our timesheets system.

5. Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

Respect our clients, suppliers, property and most of all, each other, for without the respect of these the business will fail. Turn up for work on time and dress respectfully. Take responsibility for your actions at all times.

6. Thou shalt not kill.

Always backup your work and do not bring in any external software that may have viruses.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Non-platonic relationships between colleagues are not encouraged.

8. Thou shalt not steal.

Or we will press charges. Leaving confidential information or company property (laptops, phones, etc) lying around could lead to information theft/loss so ensure you keep everything safe.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Don’t tell lies and treat everyone as you want to be treated yourself.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Line is only as good as the people within it, if you feel that another company/person/agency is doing something better than us, point it out and make a plan to help Line improve its offering for both its staff and its customers.

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