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Funniest job ads of all time: Candidates must be willing to travel, have high level of self-importance and enjoy martinis

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By Jennifer Faull, Deputy Editor

November 23, 2012 | 3 min read

The job ad searching for the next James Bond which appeared on the Directgov site today is one of a string of funny and fake job postings over the past few years. The Drum rounds up some of our favorites

1. Must be indistinguishable and enjoy martinis

This ad appeared on, and was swiftly removed from, the Directgov website looking for a “secret agent”. Of course, we all know that to be a top secret agent one must be “indistinguishable”, be able to “take on new identities” and enjoy the classic secret spy drink shaken, not stirred. For successful candidates, special watches, jet-packs and mini-submarines will be supplied.

2. Must be willing to travel

A couple of years ago this ad appeared on Craigslist and in newspapers across Arizona searching for a “Serious Volunteer” for a mission to go back in time. Yes, back in time to the Midwest circa 1985. We’ve heard this was a pretty dangerous time so are not surprised that the prospective candidate has been asked to bring his/her own weapons.

3. Must have high level of self-importance

We are not sure who the ‘client’, or for that matter the agency, is for this job which appeared on job site Reed.co.uk this year. But we do know that only candidates with a “high level of self-importance” would be considered for the sales adviser role. Even more amazing than the fact that such a role was paying up to £22,000 was that eight people applied.

4. Must have Finger-Wagging ability

Having had many a trip to the pictures ruined by a noisy eater, heavy breather, or worst of all a loud laughter, this ad for a Cinema Shusher is one that The Drum might be able to get on board with. Perks of the job include half-price popcorn and discounted choc-tops (we’re not sure what these are either but they sound delicious). However to qualify one must possess strong “finger wagging ability”, “quiet nostrils” and, of course, a “loud and chatter silencing ‘Shuush’”.

5. Must be human

Blockbuster was recently hiring, but felt it important to mention that dinosaurs in human costumes need not apply. Of course.

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